On the twelfth day of Christmas, in the emergency,
Twelve TBs coughing,
Eleven dengues bleeding,
Ten OP poisoning,
Nine fits convulsing ,
Eight snakes a-biting,
Seven di-a-betics,
Six GEs puking,
Five M Is,
Four CVAs,
Three swine flus,
Two ALDs,
And a drunk in the casualty!
Runnin’ down the pathway
Cases to be shown
Patients every single day
Im a medico
Dogbites?
Gettin’ groans?
Gettin’ fever?
Broken bones?
Gettin’ mad
big fat books
I tell you folks
It’s harder than it looks
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico
If you think it’s easy doin’ duty night stands
Try workin’ in a govt hospital
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico
Interns Duty rooms
Make you wanna cry
MRs do the hard sell
Know the reason why
Gettin’ old
Gettin’ grey
Gettin’ ripped off
Under-paid
Gettin’ scold
Second hand
That’s how it goes
Workin in hospital
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico
If you wanna be a HOD and the dean
Look out it’s rough and mean
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico!
It’s a long way to the top
If you wanna medico!
On the Mysore road highway, cool wind in my hair…
Warm smell of fresh rain, rising up through the air…
Up ahead in the distance, i saw a lorry headlight
Broke my leg when i crashed into him, had to be admitted that night!
The ward boy stood in the doorway, gave an evil grin
I was thinking to myself, this cant be heaven, this must be hell
He put me on the stretcher, and showed me the way…
there were screams in the casualty, thought i heard them sayyy
Welcome to the hospi-tal Victoria
such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
such a lovely case!
Plenty of beds at the hospi-tal Victoria
Any time of year, you can find me here!
Ward boys definitely twisted, he threw me on the minor OT beds
He got a lot of lazy lazy nurses, he calls friends
How they sleep in the duty room, only awake interns left
Some sleep to remember, some sleep to forget!
So i wake up a sister, pleease bring me my file
She said ‘asshole no ones woken me up since, nineteen sixty nine!’
And still those screams are coming from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…
Welcome to the hospi-tal Victoria
such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
such a lovely case!
Barely surviving at the hospi-tal Victoria
What a nice surprise, SDDs alibis!
Blood stains on the ceiling, the cold IV lines
intern said- we are all just prisoners here, we have no choice
In the PGs chambers, they gathered for the feast
Interns ringing them all night, But they just wont press receive!
Last thing i remember, i was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place i was before
Relax said the watch man, ‘you havent given me my fee’
You can DAMA any time you like,
BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE!
(SDD- senior duty doctor)
(DAMA- discharged against medical advice)
I’m through with having free time, no more clubs for me to get in
It’s like im having a life, im always with a grin
This life is no longer going to be the way I want it to be
(Tell me watchya want)
I want a brand new shift in paediatrics
And some kids I can play cricket with
And a king size ward big enough for ten plus me
(Tell me watchya need)
I’ll need a
SBI account that’s got a limit
And an interns room with a bedroom in it
Gonna earn a salary of six thousand rupees
(Been there, done that)
I want a new emergency full of old stretchers
Hope i dont get beaten up by the attenders
Just bark, dont bite cos i bruise real easily
(So how you gonna do it)
I’m gonna trade this life for no fortune or fame
I’m gonna havta cut my hair and wear my name
‘Cause we all just gonna be dig doctars
And living in hospitals working fifteen hours
The patients come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny as we just won’t eat
And we’ll
Hang out in the coolest wards
In the OBG with the to be borns
Every pregnant mothers gonna wind up there
Every Obese lady screaming for care,
Hey hey Im gonna be a doctar
Hey hey hey im gonna be a doctar!
Final year has come and passed
College days can never last
wake me up when January ends
like my senior’s come to pass
four years has gone so fast
wake me up when January ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my books again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets BMCRI
wake me up when January ends
wake me up when January ends
wake me up when January ends….
the following is an accurate account of my week from 12-10-08 to 18-10-08 (india australia bangalore test match) Meri textbook mai padha nill, Ek booker winning Novel… Na na na na na Na na na na na Ek pratty Ka Phone Number, Match jaane ka favor… Na na na na na Na na na na na Do Test ke Match Ke Passes, Mere Naye Naye Sunglasses Mere sachin ne record ko khoya 48 pe gaya main, 49 pe out hoya! Na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na na (Cobalt skies 2008- BMCRI) College main fest padi, Quiz mein bhag liya main bhi… Na na na na na Na na na na na Third place Ka Ek Packet, Meri Denim Ki Jacket… Na na na na na Na na na na na Fashion show main tha missing, thrissur bus main tha boarding Pichhle Saat Dino Mein yeh hai hoya Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main, Aur Kabhi Khud Pe Roya!! (IAP south sone quiz- Thrissur kerala) Kaise, Bhuloon Saatva Jo Din Aaya Kisi Ne Tumse thrissur Mein Milwaaya Kaisa Pal Tha Jis Pal Maine Tumko Pehli Baar Haraaya Hum Jo Mile IAP quiz mein first prize Maine jaana kya hai surprise Maine Hosh Bhi Khoya, lekin Belwadi roya Kabhi Khud Pe Hansa Main, Aur Kabhi Khud Pe ROYA!! Na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na na
The only thing that has dominated the headlines the last few days is the impending trust vote in parliament. Parties are going all out to ensure they somehow get to 271, come what may, even if that means forgetting the very basic ideas of justice.
Im referring to the fact that jailed MPs (convicted for murder mind you) are specially being transported to the capital so that they can exercise their vote. Unfortunately, Mr.Ambedkar and co. never thought that the ‘elected representatives’ of the people would be of such low moral fibre as to be capable of homicide. Or that even if that was the case, their ‘honest’ colleagues would want them to still enforce their parliamentary rights!!
On top of this, you have a party chief in Mr.Soren who is a convicted murderer out on bail (how that happened someone please explain to me, when you consider the fact that Dr.Talwar was denied bail when there wasnt even a shred of evidence against him) who in all likelihood might be a cabinet minister if the government survives.
UPA or NDA, when you see stuff like the aforementioned happening, thats like making a choice between the plague and anthrax. Its at times like this you realize how true the tag line of “incredible india” is.
I need some strong toothpaste to wash this taste in my mouth!!
Foreword by enthusiastix: The following is the first part in the chronicles of our trip to mumbai. This was about a year and a half ago, when at the end of second year, we decided it was time that mumbai benefits from our patronage. It was myself, aquatix our friend niraj and his cousin tarun who embarked on this adventure. Since the trip was so fraught with interest, we felt we should share it with the world!!!
As the day started things did not look that bright,because the first thing we saw on this trip or rather the first thing Tarun saw was people crapping on the railway tracks early in the morning. anyway barring that.We reached mumbai on the 19th morning and then checked into a hotel um guest house a place called sevaniketan. we broke the fast with bread and egg and supplemented that with a cup of coffee. 10 minutes later we found ourselves staring at the back of Tarun’s head who felt that he needed to trim his hair on the temporal aspect which was about a mm long by a micron.10 minutes later we were out of the salon and walked upto the byculla railway station and bought tickets to go to the heart of the city Dadar.We went to the platform and boarded the train to our destination unfortunately the compartment we happened to board happened to be a ladies only compartment and obviously we had to get down from that compartment and ran to the next compartment by that time the train had already begun to move..I was in the lead and just managed to board onto the train,whereas the others were left stranded on the edge of the platform,with our hero Tarun waving at me and beckoning me ot get off a train which was moving at the speed of 80 km/hr.Eventually i did meet them at the next station.At dadar we had to take another train to Churchgate and what do you know we happened to board the wrong compartment again,this time it was a first class compartment whereas we had tickets only for the 2nd class.fortunately we had enough time to jump off that compartment and jump back into a 2nd class compartment.
The train journey ended around 12.30 pm. We being tourists at mumbai were quite lost and walked to wards the Marine drive,and we were walking along the marine drive thinking that it would lead us to the gateway of india. but one of us actually had the common sense to go and ask a couple passing by whether it was wise to continue treading in the path chosen or to hire a taxi,which we eventually did,and we also realized that the Marine drive did not lead to the Gateway of India.
At the gateway of India the usual awe and aura were there,snaps were taken posing in front of it and also snaps were taken posing in front of The Taj.In fact i felt that The Taj looks much better than the Gateway.from thither we progress on foot to a street where they were selling random stuff.It was around 2 pm then and we decided to lunch at Mc Donalds.
post lunch we decided to go to chor bazaar( thief market) where you get lots of stuff for real cheap rates. we hired a cab whose driver made sure that we saw a lot more of mumbai then desired which resulted in us becoming frustrated because of which we did not close the doors of the taxi as we alighted from it. chor bazaar had a very striking resemblance to the city market of bangalore and it almost felt like home.we roamed the streets of what we thought were those of chor bazaar and saw nothing but fruits and vegetables later on we realized that we were in vegetable bazaar and not thief bazaar.Finally we entered thief bazaar and it turned out to be a big let down. We took a cab to ‘fashion street’ apparently where they sold fashionable clothes at fashionable rates.
Fashion street did turn out to be worth our time,the boys did quite a bit of shopping and for a while we almost had the funny feeling that we could actually give the fairer sex an inferiority complex with respect to shopping:). Shopping finished around 4 pm and we started walking towards the ‘famed marine drive’.
we reached the marine drive after a brief walk in the sweltering heat,and then for the first time that day we realized that we had done something worthwhile that day. we walked along the marine drive towards nariman point,which was about 3km stopping to take some snaps along the way. we sat on the rocks at nariman point for about half an hour when tarun decided that he wanted to go and meet his ex girlfriend regarding some tiff they had had before,this was the time that enthusiastix and me decided that it was about time we revealed the iron hand behind the velvet glove and proceeded to do so. hence,we refused to go with tarun but poor niraj who made up the rest of the gang on this trip had no choice but to go with him as tarun was one of his closest cousins.
So post display of the iron hand was when our day started to go the right way,enthusiastix and me watched the sun set behind the clouds.
to be continued………..
We were sitting there eating channa masala and watching the sun go down,the waves splashing,talking full guy stuff. One cat came along and decided that aquatix was its long lost master from the kumbh mela. it was a beautiful friendship that lasted till the cat started scratching his pants.
Then we decided to go walking to a restaurant called Pizzeria and Pasta for dinner. Slowly,lazily we were strolling in the glow of the neon lights.Finally we reached the restaurant.HALLELUJAH! awesome food.Penne alla romana and Sheikh n bake pizza. Just enough for the 2 of us.Delicious! Then Aquatix took a nice vocation at the toilet(nature had not called for 2 days) while i washed sehwag blasting.
after that we went to mocha which aquatix recommended for dessert.Unfortunately there more hookah and less sundae. Fortunately there was a baskin robbins to compensate. cotton candy and strawberry shortcake ice cream!! As we decided to walk to chowpatty, it struck to us that this would have been an awesome date if one of us was female.
We continued to walk to the marine drive chowpatty as the breeze rustled through our hair.about they guy talk part,it was basically Enthusiastix who was doing the talking. it was around 10:15 i guess when Enthusiastix got a call from Niraj,just to be informed that tarun had disappeared with his EX and that he was left stranded for about and hour and a hlaf.He also told is that he would be returning to the dorm where we were staying.Enthusiastix and me decided that we would relax on the beach for sometime and that then go back to the dorm. As we were relaxing on the beach,we were approached by about 15 masseuses asking us whether we needed a massage. they were so amazed by our physiques that they were itching to get their hands all over us.Around 11 pm we decided to get back to the dorm as our pal niraj would be waiting alone with only jittery nerves for company, Caught a taxi and reached our dorm.
On reaching our dorm we saw that niraj was not there at all.Now this was beginning to get a little freaky,because it was more than an hour since niraj had told us that he would be getting back.Enthusiastix and me decided to wait for both those cousins in the lobby.We were there like upto midnight.Then we went and sat on the door step of seva niketan(the place where we were staying).Enthusiastix who had missed his chance to use the toilet at Pizzeria and Pasta decided to make up for it now.As he went to the toilet,he also confirmed that Tarun and Niraj were not playing hide n seek with us by hiding in the toilet of which he had suspicions initially. He also had this brainwave of playing chess which was one of the highlights of our trip:)) on the footpath of Sir JJ road at 1 am. We played for about 45mins,when a fellow resembling Tarun walked by,we called out to him he turned,looked but continued walking.I was sure that this was not Tarun and i tried telling Enthusisastix about it.,but our ever Enthusiastix friend did not listen to me and went running after this fellow and only after seeing him from about a metre away was he convinced that that was not Tarun.
So we got back to our chess game with half our minds still on those 2,we continued playing what was an evenly balanced game which Enthusiastix won eventually.this was around 1.30-45 am i’m not too sure about the time. We had a lot of thoughts about contacting the cops and letting them know about our dilemma. we decided to hang on. around 2.30 we decided it was about time and Enthusiastix was about to call Niraj’s mum to get Tarun’s ex girlfriend’s number and also we were about to go the nearest police station and lodge a missing complaint when we happened to catch sight of those 2 @#&^&%&.Enthusiastix started of as he was taking part in the 100m dash i followed him but was lagging by about 5-10m. he was also screaming of which he had all the rights to do so.Niraj described my facial expression as that of someone ready to kill.haha. So when we asked those guys why they were so lat tarun told us that he had typed a message to Enthusiastix and then found out that he had only typed the message but had not sent it.what an ASS.Finally we decided to call it a day and retired for the night or rather the morning.
You might not at first glance realize
the perils that accompany soda glass eyes
So let me share with you, this morceau
that might well make you think twice
_
My last cut was in early may
and now my long black locks had ceased to obey
i surmised a visit to the barber was in order
try as hard i did to avoid it, my hair tried harder
_
For all those wondering about my main objection
i reply, the problem is one of image projection
You see i suffer from severe myopia
Without my specs, i cant see ya
_
So whenever i sit in the chair with my vertex being done
i can never quite be sure of the outcome
When he removes the cloth all hale and hearty
For me its more or less a surprise party
_
Will it be too short, will it be too lengthy
I suppose either will be ok as long as its of symmetry
I do not want all my work undone
in gaining a reputation of being uniquely handsome
_
The last occasion, to make things a little more awry
The corporation decided we had had enough of power supply
So i sat there in the cold darkness
half my head full of hair, half my head with far less!
_
The lights flickered back on, at the height of my fears
and the fellow continued on with his shears
when he decided my scalp was ok after a hair census
i was finally reunited with my lenses
_
I looked straight and at my profile
And felt, not bad, its got a certain style
So alls well that ends well, my worries too keen?
But still the heart shudders at what might have been
_
I leave, after giving a tip of generosity
i wouldnt want him to attack my hair next time with more ferocity
As i trudge back home, i know its a brief respite
Ill be back next month, fighting the good fight!
